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” I looked at her and saw the sadness in her eyes as she looked towards the table. I tried to think of a way to make her feel better when I decided to try some truth. “I’ve never kissed a girl.” I blurted out. She looked up at me. Yes it was true. I had ever kissed a girl, which of course means I had never come close to sex. I wasn’t a very sexually active teenager. I always thought it was because I was ugly, or unlikeable, or something that. Really it was just that I get nervous around new people, especially girls. And since first impressions are very important, everyone remembers me as a bumbling idiot. “Really?” she asked me. “yeah not once, and I’m going on 18 years old. I bet by the time you were 18 you had kissed plenty of guys.” “Well yeah I did, but none of that matters now. I haven’t had sex in 5 years.” She stopped. “ I’m sorry I guess that’s too much info huh.” I was sitting in front of my beautiful aunt, who was sad that she wasn’t married and just admitted she had not. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.''I seem to recall that, ' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?''Far from it, ' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!''Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!''Well, we were on the fifth tee ... and this hole is a monster, Mother—540-yard par-5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green ... and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted ... and it hits a bird in mid-flight!''Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!''No, that wasn't it, ' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!''Oh, that would have made me.
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